Curveballs are regularly planned by pitchers (and catchers) to keep batters off balance. Granted, the element of surprise or challenge to the batter is real (I assume), but the curve is intentionally planned and the outcome isn’t always predictable. According to my new boyfriend, ChatGPT:
“Professional baseball statistics indicate that batters typically have lower batting averages against curveballs compared to fastballs. However, the exact success rate can vary widely based on individual performance and game situations…”(OpenAI, 2024)
I don’t really know anything about baseball, but I like where this metaphor is going.
I would assume that batters are constantly watching the pitcher, studying the moves, looking at past performances, examining data on current trends. I would also assume that batters develop training programs, practice drills, imagine mind gymnastics, and just get into the weeds of how to solve for this problem of unpredictability. And yet, even when batters are at their peak, done all their homework, prepared with dedication, stamina, and attention to detail –the outcome of success is still unpredictable.
Maybe there is a batter out there who can consistently crack the code, work the system, counter the narrative. I don’t know enough about baseball to give an example that defies the norm. But, it would seem to be a lark or someone really, really special or superhuman (maybe the next AI bot can solve for this?).
I like to think of my own life as a series of rapid fire curveballs because it allows me to have a little grace with myself and remember that no amount of preparation can really prepare you to cleanly hit a curveball, or avoid them. Some of it is luck, but I have to believe that a lot of it is conditioning yourself to the ebbs and flows of life’s unpredictability.
As I get into the work of paying more attention to ways in which I train myself for the unexpected, practice ways of unwinding complexity, more actively (kicking and screaming) change my habits of mind and commitments to my body, I feel like dealing with the curveballs that the universe throws me becomes more of a learning experience than a fast train to failure-town.
This isn’t accidental. And it is absolutely a work in progress. I used to get hit by curveballs and be bludgeoned by the whiplash and set in a full on emotional tailspin for hours, days, week. At some point, either because the balls didn’t stop or I got tired of triaging my own mind and body, I needed to find some better ways to approach the varying ways life picks it’s pitches.
These days, like the batters, I’m constantly conditioning for uncertainty. Rather than focusing on my anger at the pitcher for undermining my life, however, I’m actually finding joy in preparing for the curveballs. This is maybe a sign of age or wisdom, but I compare to how I approached exercising in my 20s and 30s. I believed that exercise was a means to an end. Cardio to burn calories = maintain my jean size. Lifting weights = show off muscular arms/attract compliments. As I approach 50, exercise is less about the outward and more about the inward. It is about my mind, about how I feel, and about how I want to extend and explore how my body can move and change.
I think “curveball conditioning” follows this same path: the more we lean into the joyful parts of finding out more about ourselves, play with the deepening of our awareness, and get curious about how we might react when it all goes wrong, the more we are actually prepared for the complexity of our lives and the unpredictability of the world, our family, our kids, our careers, and everything in between. The curveballs.
I have found that this awareness of “curveball conditioning” (my new made up word!) has been brought to my attention through working with an amazing coach, and her gentle prodding of what was intended to help me figure out my professional path but is creating a space for me to practice self-trust (and self-forgiveness), uncover my shadows (and when they sneak up), and to be okay with not knowing how it will all play out. I’ve always believed in trusting the process, but I realized I haven’t always trusted myself, and I definitely haven’t tuned in to the power of conditioning as a part of growing up.
My coach gave me another nugget of truth that has helped me grapple with the fact that I’m not writing about my services or my business yet, and that my patience with myself and figuring out what it is that makes “me light up” has to evolve. She said, smiling through the phone, “We teach what we want to be taught…pay attention, Nikole, to the mirror. You reflect back what you need to learn.”
I’ll take that to my curveball conditioning gym this week.
This was a pretty vulnerable dive in my quest to getting unstuck. I’m hopeful that these pieces pull my work closer together, and make my skills a valuable asset to the clients I serve (and WILL serve) and the organizations I work (and WILL work) with. Coming soon: Look for new branding, some additional consulting services, and a more authentic business model.
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A colleague and I have been talking a lot about where our whiteness shows up unexpectedly (unknowingly?) Here’s an interesting essay on unlearning white saviorism, as I continue to unpack my relationship with race.